David Roper is a marriage specialist who helps couples who feel overloaded and under appreciated go from angry and frustrated to healthier and happierÂ
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by listening and understanding the issues they are experiencing,
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guiding them as they learn simple yet critical research-proven relationship tools, and
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helping them heal from their hurts and resentments.
​David has been a Licensed Professional Counselor in San Antonio, Texas for more than 30 years, guiding couples to healthier, happier lives. He primarily uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), the most widely used form of counseling in America, and the Gottman Method, made famous by 30 year relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute.
Marriage Counseling/
Couples Counseling
Reviews
Marriage Counseling FAQ's
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What do you charge for counseling? Do you have a sliding fee scale?
Currently, I charge $225/hour for marriage sessions and $200/hour for individual sessions.
If, however, your gross family income is less than $100,000 annually, then my rate is $200/hour; if less than $75,000 gross family income annually, then my rate is $180/hour.
Do you take insurance?
I prefer to spend 100% of my time helping my clients rather than dealing with insurance companies. So while I do not deal with them directly, I can provide paperwork for you to submit a claim to your insurance company if you'd like. I have been told by several of my clients that they have been reimbursed 70%-80% of the charge towards their out of network deductible (i.e., if they paid me $200 and were reimbursed 80%, the session cost them $40).
What is marriage counseling like? What do we do in Marriage Counseling?
Typically, the first three sessions are “assessment” sessions in which I’m listening very intently and understanding what has gone on in your life and relationship. The first assessment session is together with your spouse, the second session is just with you, and the third is with just your spouse. The fourth session is then your feedback session where I let you know how I think I can (or cannot) help and, if you agree with the plan, we’ll get started right away in that session!
We’ll meet as often as is helpful. Most couples meet weekly but some prefer more often or less often depending upon their circumstances. Frequently, I’ll suggest you watch psycho-educational video lessons ahead of our sessions in order to learn more outside of your sessions to help create rapid improvement.
Depending upon the couple, we may delve into personality style (enneagram) and attachment issues or we may jump straight into helping you develop communication tools. Homework exercises will definitely be an important component.
Rapid growth is expected with most couples who are willing to put in the work and consistently use the tools provided.
What if my spouse doesn’t want to do marrriage counseling with me?
A common issue I see in marriage counseling and relationship coaching is that one person wants my guidance but their spouse is resistant to coming. This can be for a variety of reasons … fear of what it’s going to be like, anger/resentment at the other spouse, fear of losing control by involving a professional, etc.
You have a few options:
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ask them politely, respectful to join you. This may be done in person or via a note, text or email. Explain why you’d like to go … hopefully it’s because you want to improve you, not because you want someone to fix them or expose them and blame them.
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You go yourself. By yourself. If you go, you’re showing your spouse that you are willing to make changes to make your relationship better. And, more importantly, as your spouse sees you making positive changes, it encourages him/her to consider it. And then you can circle back to the first suggestion … asking again politely.
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Are there any other options besides marriage counseling?
Are there any other options besides marriage counseling? Sure! There are books and podcasts and articles and TikTok videos! But I’m guessing you’ve tried many of those things already and they haven’t gotten you where you want to be. It’s time to step it up a notch. Seek guidance from someone who’s experienced helping couples get what you wish to attain … peace, emotional connection, sexual chemistry, better communication. That usually entails someone assessing your styles and patterns, teaching you some new tools, helping you get comfortable using them consistently, and holding you accountable in using them properly rather than reverting back to old habits. If that’s me you’re looking for, I’m happy to help.